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There has been a lot of coverage of trans gender issues in the media recently. In principle I think this is a good thing – visibility and awareness are first steps towards acceptance, and with trans youth suicide disproportionately high even among the cruelly elevated rate for LGBTIQ+ teens, knowing they’re not alone, that being trans isn’t synonymous with being rejected, alone, ostrasised, a freak, helps survival through these hardest years.

I’ve been saddened but unsurprised by many of the responses from the uninformed; I have been dismayed and bitterly disappointed by the positions of many who call themselves feminists.

I am a feminist for the same reason I’m a unionist – because I strongly believe that those without power, without a heard voice, whose contributions are underrecognised and under appreciated, need and deserve representation and organisation, a voice, recognition of their value and contribution, and power.

I am a cis woman. I have had my share of body hate and shame, but I have never felt as though my assigned gender was at odds with who I felt like. I have never been misgendered by my family, by my colleagues, by the world.

I have had people insult my size, but I have never had people deny who I am by deliberately using the wrong pronouns, or by using a name that is associated with all the pain, sadness, and erasure of my true self – what trans people often refer to as a dead name.

Nobody will deny me my identified gender based on how much I ‘look like a woman’ or feel comfortable interrogating me about my genitals. And if I have bilateral mastectomies, a hysterectomy, bilateral oopherectomy, a vulvectomy, and take hormone replacement, nobody will tell me that I’m no longer a woman.

I recognise that this is a privilege not afforded to my trans sisters, to gender queer and gender fluid people, and while I can’t and won’t speak for them, I can support them in private and aloud.

If you’ve made it this far, had you noticed that almost all the focus has been on trans women? If not, that’s not surprising – from talk shows to TV series, almost without exception coverage is of trans women like Laverne Cox and Caitlin Jenner. Chaz Bono is a rare exception, and that more because of his parents’ fame.

This relentless gaze on trans women is interesting. Perhaps it’s because some see trans women choosing to give up male privilege as more transgressive.* I suspect, though, that it’s at least as much about male sensibilities – first, the idea that trans women are somehow setting out to trick unsuspecting cis, straight men into thinking they’re cis women (because being attracted to a trans woman, in this Neanderthal mindset, is emasculating and shameful); and second, because we police female appearance far more than male appearance, so trans women who ‘pass’ are threatening, and trans women who aren’t sufficiently feminine (whatever the hell that means) are parodies or imitations or something. And all of this presupposes that trans women are transitioning for some reason other than a need to express and be recognised as their true selves.

Oh, and I hope all these exclusionary radical feminists embrace trans men as women. Well, I don’t hope that for the men, because that’s vile and I don’t want their identities erased, but I hope they TERFs are at least internally consistent. That means being happy with trans men in female bathrooms, women’s spaces, and taking positions intended for women. Because they don’t get to have it both ways.

* to be clear, I’ve phrased it this way to reflect a mindset I don’t ascribe to – being trans is no more a choice than being gay or straight, left- or right-handed, or having an allergy

Edited to correct “trans excepting radical feminists” to “trans exclusionary” – 16.36 15/1/16